Getting Young Children to Listen

 Tips to Parents on Getting Young Children to Listen

We have all heard the phrase, "You can get more flies with sugar than with vinegar".  This old cliche refers to speaking sweetly to get what we need rather than demanding results.

This is exactly the attitude a parent should take when trying to encourage their children to follow directions and become helpful around the house.  Here are a few spcific tips on speaking to your child so that they listen and cooperate with you.

·          Tip 1      Get your child's attention.

            Make sure your child hears you.  If he or she is engaged fully in an activity, it is likely that you will be ignored or not heard.  Call your child's name and wait for him to look at you before you speak.
·          Tip 2      Use behavior specific language.

             This means to tell your child exactly what it is you want them to do.  Instead of saying, "Don't fight with your sister.", try saying, "Please let your sister use some of the blocks that you are building with."
·          Tip 3      Keep it simple-avoid combining encouragement with criticism.

            I am guilty of this one often..."I like the way you are picking up your doll, but why are the trucks and tracks all over the floor?"
·          Tip 4      Encourage with enthusiasm.

            Sound cheerful and happy when you praise your child, and make sure your facial expressions match the happy tone in your voice.  Children are great at observing your bady language and knowing when what you say does not match what you are feeling.
·          Tip 5      Double the impact with physical warmth.

            Make sure your child really knows how much you appreciate his or her good behavior by adding a warm hug, little kiss or a good pat on the back to your positive comments.
·          Tip 6      Use positive comments and encouragement with your child in front of others.

            Everyone appreciates being recognized for their good actions to others.  Share a positive experience with Grandma or a neighbor while your child is there to hear how proud you are of them.

Some examples of Positive and Specific Language
         "Thank you for __________."
       "What a good problem solver you are, you were able to__________."
        "It's so much fun to play with you; you are so good at ________." (sharing, taking turns)