Teaching Your Child Good Manners

 

Use polite words.  Teach your child polite phrases, and find opportunities to

use them.  For instance, when you are leaving a birthday party, have your child

tell the host, "Thank you for inviting me. I had a good time."

Teach phone manners.  Use a toy phone to role-play phone etiquette.
Also give your child real-life practice by suggesting that he or she call relatives

or friends.

Encourage helpful acts.  Have your child help around the house.  Your child can

tear lettuce for a salad, carry a bag to the car, or throw trash away.  Avoid saying,

"You are too little to..."

Read helpful books.  A child is influenced by what he or she hears and sees.  Read

books about helpful characters, such as Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile by Bernard Waber. 

Ask your child to name things Lyle does to help others (he feeds the ducks).

Model honest behavior.  Let your child see you turn in a wallet you found at the

mall or return too much change in a restaurant.

Use inside and outside voices.  Your child needs to learn the difference between

inside and outside voices.  Although a child can speak loudly on the playground, a

much quieter voice is acceptable in the library.  Practice taking your child to

different places, so he or she knows what to expect.

Don't blame others.  Use "I" messages for sharing feelings. This way you don't

sound rude and make others feel bad.  For example, when you have trouble putting

your child to bed, say, "I feel grumpy when I have to ask you so many times to get

ready for bed.  It makes me tired."  This way your child knows how you feel without

raising your voice.

 

Admit your mistakes. Accept your child's apology when he or she makes an error in judgment.  That way he or she will be less likely to repeat the mistake.

End the day on a good note.  Even if your child did misbehave today in public or

at home, tomorrow is another day.  At bedtime, praise your child for something he

or she did well:  "You were so quiet while we waited at the bank."  As a result, the

child may try to behave better the next day.

Be a parent role model. Ponder this quote from R. Buckminster Fuller: "Parents are

usually more careful to bestow knowledge on their children rather than virtue, the

art of speaking well rather than doing well; but their manners should be of the

greatest concern."