Rewards and Consequences

 

Use rewards and consequences carefully.  You probably do not

want your child to be too dependent on either one.  Try to give

compliments, which will boost self-esteem and lead to long-term

good behavior.  Come up with consequences that teach lessons

gently so that you are not modeling hurtful behavior.

 

*The good feeling that comes from doing the right thing can be a

reward in itself.  Help your child connect actions with feelings.  For

example, your child may feel proud when he or she shares a toy with

a playmate.  Say, “I bet that made you feel good, didn’t it?”

 

*Give your child ways to correct his own mistakes when he or she

misbehaves.  If your child pushes a sibling, point out the other child’s

tears and explain that he or she hurt and upset someone.  The consequence

could be that your child must think of a way to make their sibling happy

before he or she can play.  Perhaps drawing a picture for the other sibling

or using a special toy would be a nice peace offering.

 

*Privileges are another good reward.  For example, if your child gets ready

for bed without complaining, you can let her or him stay up an extra five

minutes.  If he or she clears the table, let him or her choose what to have

for dessert.

 

*Time-outs can be an effective consequence if used the right way.  Help your

child see a time-out as a short break from the situation that is causing him or her

to misbehave rather than as a punishment.  You might even refer to it as a “break.”

Try to speak calmly and firmly as you direct your child to a quiet place to cool down.

 

Ms. Dias recommends setting the rules long before trick-or-treating begins.  Cut out this list and share it with your kids.

 

DO

* Travel only on established well-lit routes.

* Have an adult with our or inform an adult of the exact route you will be taking.

* Select a highly visible, bright costume over dark ones.

* Affix reflective tape to costumes, treat bags and buckets.  Light-up sneakers are also great for visibility.

* Carry a flashlight with working batteries.

* Examine every piece of candy before eating it.

* Stay on sidewalks, but if there aren’t any, walk on the left side of the road, facing traffic.

* Look both ways before crossing the street, and always cross at corners.

 

DON’T

* Wander off by yourself.

* Enter a stranger’s home.

* Wear a mask or headpiece that obstructs your vision or impairs your hearing.  Instead, use face paint.

* Wear long, billowing costumes that can cause you to trip.

* Carry sharp objects or props that can injure someone.

* Walk in front of, behind or between parked cars.

* Shine flashlights into the windshields of passing cars.

* Eat anything that has been tampered with.

 

(From Horizons New Haven AAA Southern New England, October 2010)