There Are No Bad Children - Tips On Discipline

THERE ARE NO “BAD” CHILDREN

Some Tips on Discipline

We all can recall some discipline or “punishment” we received as children that is etched forever in our memories.  Some of us continue the methods our parents used and are surprised when they aren’t working with our own children.

The first step in effective discipline is knowing your child. You can build appropriate expectations regarding your child's temperament by becoming aware of his way of relating to the world. Begin with these basic facts about temperament:

• Temperament is stable over time. However, it can be influenced by environment and parenting styles.
• Temperament emerges early. Parents often get a sense of their child’s temperament in the first few months of life
• Temperament is consistent across situations. Your child will act in similar ways with you and other caregivers.

Building temperament-appropriate expectations will help you to create an environment in which your child will flourish.

Ideally, discipline is based on appropriate expectations for each child, based on age and stage of development. It should be used to set reasonable limits in a consistent manner while still allowing some choice among acceptable alternatives. Discipline teaches both social and moral standards and should protect children from harm by teaching what is safe. It should also guide children to respect the rights and property of others.

The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests that an effective discipline system must contain three elements. If these three aspects are all present in a program of discipline, the result generally is improved child behavior. The elements are:

• a learning environment characterized by positive, supportive parent-child relationships
• a proactive strategy for systematic teaching and strengthening of desired behaviors
• a reactive strategy for decreasing or eliminating undesired behaviors

All parents seek disciplinary techniques that work. However, not all techniques work for all ages or for all children. Use this list as a guide for age-appropriate discipline.

Distraction. Infants (birth to 18 months) typically do not need strong disciplinary measures. When babies “misbehave” they are often exploring and testing their boundaries. Simply directing a baby’s attention elsewhere may solve the problem.

Time-Out. Many parents use time-out for all behaviors all the time. However, for time-out to work, it should be used as one tool in an arsenal of other discipline techniques for ages 2 to 8. Some basic guidelines for time-out include: Make it short –– 1 minute for each year of your child’s age.

• Eliminate reinforcers. Your child should not be able to play, watch television, etc.
• Use a timer. Restart the time if your child leaves time-out.
• Use other discipline techniques if time-out does not work.