Dr. Robert Brooks, co-author of Raising Resilient Children provided GreatDad with this list of tips for raising resilient kids. “Resilient” children, he explains, are kids who have the coping skills necessary to deal with adversity. These kids aren’t protected from the real world, but are increasingly ready for real world challenges as they grow up.
Build a strong foundation in your relationships with your kids. Many people say their fondest memories of their parents are when they had “special time” alone with the parent. It’s important for kids to hear words like, “I really enjoy being with you.”
Find out what makes your child feel successful. Dr. Brooks calls these areas “islands of competence.” He suggests that we all make sure that we are involved in and reinforce activities where kids feel successful. These activities may not be the same areas a dad was strong in while growing up, however. That means dads have to make an extra effort to understand their children despite differences, and support their individual child’s strengths.
Be demonstrative with your love. Dads, especially, need to understand the value of the hug or the kiss in helping a child feel good about him or herself. Dads should not hesitate to tell children “I love you.”
Be Playful. – Don’t miss an opportunity to get down on the floor and play with your kids.
Do not protect or isolate your child from failure. Instead, make sure your child understands that failure is an opportunity to learn and do better next time.
Set limits. - Kids need limits and dads should not feel hesitant to say ‘no,’ even if it brings momentary disappointment to their kids.
Dr. Brooks’ new book, Raising a Self-Disciplined Child is due out in September, 2007.
